Something Has to Give

Obviously I stopped posting my daily things....trying to keep that up on paper in a nifty little calendar thing. Right now I'm just trying to survive my day to day stresses. I was doing fine till tonight..more like 10 minutes ago..a new bomb dropped on me.

First I can't stop thinking about the ex (here after referred to as C). Ever since I made him leave (the biggest mistake ever I'm feeling) I've been depressed. It's been almost 5 months now and waking up without him next to me hurts just as bad. I for a brief time thought it would be okay..that I was making the right choice for me. It took about a week after he packed his things for me to calm down enough to see I cracked under some serious pressure and took every little bit out on C. I hurt him so bad. It's taken months to gather the courage to say anything to him but after encouragement from a new friend I gave it ago. I figured "Why not?" Didn't anticipate any response but I got one. Now after two long conversations he said he should listen to his gut and tell me he is done forever and to let him be and fully move on. Only he didn't. C said if I come home he will see me and make a decision. I am very thankful for the shot but...one meeting? I'm not sure how such a big decision can be made with on meeting. He will never leave home again to come back to where I am stationed. That I know. Now to only find a way to talk to The Mother who was the strongest pusher in my breaking things off with C. THAT will be fun let me tell you.

Second, had my temp living situation all worked out only to have that blow up in my face tonight. Now, unless I can find another temporary living space for two months I'll have to find a place to live alone as BFF can't break his lease. I have no idea what I'm going to do as I can't afford my current place in a month-to-month setting.

Third, and probably more annoying than anything, I tried to submit my taxes via online program only to have them rejected due to some birthday error. Called the IRS and was told to call the SSA (social security admin). The SSA told me I would have to submit a request form for a new card, that I should do it in person and be sure to emphasize my birthday is wrong in the SSA system. How it has taken 24 years to find out I have no clue. I've done taxes in highschool when I was working and NEVER had a problem then. I was told it's because I tried to do it online. Anyways, I find the correct form only to read I need two proofs of identification...birth certificate being one since my birth date is the issue. I only have a copy. Turns out the parents can't find the original. Now my plan to get the ball rolling with the SSA is delayed for at least two weeks while I wait for the new issued copies of my birth certificate.

Last, not really a stressor...well yes it is I guess...I'm suddenly almost at the end of my orientation to my new floor. I'm scared shitless to be "on my own" even though I know I will still have people to go to. I'm nervous to be on my own with the wounded sailors, soldiers, marines, and airmen on my floor...even though I know I've been doing really well when I take all these guys on my own now.

Something has to give soon.

Got to get better at this!

Already falling behind! I like to think getting off work at 11pm and not getting home until 1130ish is a good excuse though.

January 3 - Met someone through work who I got along fantastically with. We will see if anything comes out of the contact info exchange.

January 4 - Was able to work comfortably with a..friend..who I have had some issues with lately. Was still kind of awkward but I could tell they tried like I did to act "normal" so to speak.

Third Time's the Charm

Here we go. Third attempt at blogging. They say third time is the charm right? Let's see if that rings true for me.

A little about myself: I'm a good ol' southern girl. Born and raised in the great state of Georgia. Went to school. Became an RN and joined the world's finest Navy (hence the blog title).

What I plan for this blog to be: A place for me to keep up my New Year's resolution of writing down one positive thing that happens to me every day. At the end of the year I plan on going back and reading them all. It will probably end up as a place for me to vent frustrations about work, life, boys, or any other thing that strikes my mind.

SO without further ado..I have to play catch up for yesterday and today.

January 1 - Joined Match.com/meetup.com. Hopefully they will prove to be a fun way to meet potential men (match) and make some new friends outside of my work (meetup).

January 2 - I think I finally found a kickboxing gym! I have missed it so much since I left Atlanta. Hopefully this place will work out great and they really seem to strive to help out servicemembers which is always a plus!